


Gypsy Heart - Broken

by girlwithxnoname



Series: Gypsy Heart [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:02:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwithxnoname/pseuds/girlwithxnoname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The adventures of my life and tumultuous affairs. Sex, love, drinks, and contemplation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gypsy Heart - Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Some events have occurred, some have not. Based on true life events.

In my dreams, I don't hide from the world behind the closed doors and windows. In my dreams, the slutty vixen and the dormant lover are one and the same. In my dreams I am not asked to choose, only love as I please and hold everyone together with the strength of my heart. But humanity doesn't work like dreams do and the world is a crueler place than my imagination.

His breath is like the autumn breeze on my neck as he sleeps with his face pressing against me. I hold his arm tighter, being rough. Wanting to wrap his whole body around mine. It would never be enough. I remember his jungle eyes, seeing straight down to my soul. His sweet face pressed against me. In my mind Toto "Africa" plays, the promise song from the beginning. When it all started and they told us we couldn't be together, he struggled so hard. He fought for me and I for him. Now here I sit holding him so close and instead of "Africa" its "I will remember" playing. After everything we fought so hard for I've fallen somehow.  
I remember the night he sat on my bed and cried, cried so hard I kissed him and held him wanting so desperately to make him stop. Somehow, during the tears and the pain of me walking away we wound up having the wildest sex of our entire relationship. The irony... Now here I lay tracing his skin with my fingertips and trying desperately to understand why I love him so god damn much... But yet.. I can't be with him. Something in me fights against it like a caged bird. I pinch his cheek and his golden jungle eyes peer out at me from behind thick black lashes. His golden skin looks godly in the morning light and I wonder how on earth I'm able to give all this up. His thick black eyebrows knit together in confusion and I smile back. He closes his eyes again as I run my hand through his curly black ear length hair. Then I roll over on top of him. He peers up at me once more with those same sleepy eyes as I lean down close to him and flash my Cheshire smile giddily. I lean up once more and shift back a bit, pulling his morning wood to the front of me. Meeting his eyes once more I begin rocking myself back and forth making him moan. I chuckled softly and lean forward to kiss him as he coyly tries to shove his dick inside of me. But I shift and sit on his balls. I bite his lip and stare directly in his eyes and laugh to myself. My god, my dearest little god. I think to myself. I fucking love you. I continue to grind on Spencer as he moans and fights me playfully trying to "accidentally" impale me on him. But I'm cleverer, I just play dumb. I see through all his little games and ploys and outwit him. Until he stares me in the eyes because he knows. As if he's known all along. He's given up trying to take it and now he asks with his eyes and his kisses. As he runs his hands over my stomach and my legs.  
I don't even give him warning. I just sit back and let it all come inside of me. I'm not big. In fact, he's stretching me. I take his full nine inches balls-deep and watch him moan as his head arches back. Smiling to myself I lean forward to kiss his perfect plump lips. As he starts jamming himself inside of me more and more. I enjoy his joy, this is what I do. He rolls me over and pushes my hands over my head. With one hand he hoists my leg by my ear, while he holds my arms down with the other. I moan my part and bite and kiss his lips as he roughly pounds me over and over again. At some point he let go of my hands to grope my breasts, I only realize when I grab his hair to use as an anchor. His soft curly hair..... I think to myself as I bite his ear and nibble down his neck. I feel him speed up and his hands go to my shoulders as he tries to push deeper. I lick his skin in lines, teasing him. Licking down his neck to his collar and back up to his face, stopping to nibble and kiss his flesh here and there. I can feel it, the feeling I try so hard to feel myself. He's drowning in ecstasy, the ecstasy of fucking me. Experiencing this. I feel the pleasure build and then evaporate. Sex is useless to me. But I love his experience. I love feeling all of his nine inches inside of me rattling my brains for hours all in the name of love and lust. I love fucking and fucking him. In this moment I am his whore, his slut, his cum bucket. And this feeling of him being inside me is something I'd live for.  
I feel him shift and his hands go to my ass. Anchoring me under him I hear him grunting as he begins drilling himself deeper and deeper into me. Then with a few more ruts he groans and its over. I smile and kiss him and he runs his hands over my face. He lays down and cuddles me. I've done my part for making him happy. Although if I let myself think about it I know I'll realize how truly unhappy I am. I hate it and I drown in his happiness. My feelings are nothing. Their useless. "I love you" Spencer whispers in my ear and I smile to myself. A tear runs down the edge of my face and I contemplate for a moment why that is. Only for a moment. In the back of my head I'm wishing it were Jared here cuddling me instead. But I'd rather not think about him. It'd feel like betrayal, to both of them. Some kind of wrong to care and love both. Human feelings.... Ugh.  
We lay there for a couple more hours, then Spencer gets up and leaves. He kisses me goodbye and the feelings linger before I let them die. An hour later depression sets in when I realize how lonely I am. So lonely.... Videogames, homework, masturbation. It's never enough to make up for how utterly alone I feel. If I text Spencer he probably won't answer, neither will Jay(Jared). I could always call my folks, but then what do I talk about? My screwed up life, my tumultuous affairs? There would be lectures and questions and beloved advice. But I'm not in a learning philosophical mood. My roommates? Eh.... I'm not seventeen magazine or the local grape vine. I could, but why talk about it if I don't want advice. Just stick a dick in me and cast all thought aside. Let me live in ecstasy and emotion for all time instead of these depressing feelings called life. In the end, I make prostitutes on The Sims 3 and hoe them out to other Sims. In the back of my head Jared is still there... Still gnawing at my subconscious as if something's trying to get to me... And I want to cry so bad. But I only pass out.  
In my dreams I remember visiting Jared at the vape store and giving him a blow job. I dream about the way his eyes plead with me making me uncomfortable. Like the nerds in the movies plead with the hot girls to get something from them, anything. But I'm not a hot girl, I'm just the awkward girl he met online who fell for him. The gorgeous well-mannered musician who made me think. He wanted it sooo bad. So I did it and he was happy afterward. I just wanted him to hug me and kiss me. Make me feel loved. Ish. Only I went home and he went out to help a friend. And I spent the night contemplating what it would feel like to be held by him. Even now. I feel it inside calling out to me. Something wants me to be close to him, to Jay. In my dreams, he holds me close to him. And it's the best feeling in the world. In my dreams.....

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment and ask questions. Enjoy. ;)


End file.
